Jill Kramer Bryant


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The snow is falling again, the sky is misty grey and as the flakes fall onto the white ground, my thoughts are carried far away, as if each thought that enters my mind is carried along softly on each flake. It has been a long journey. The snow is twirling and curling as the wind carries it away and the time is going backwards, back to that cold autumn evening when we first met, 4th October 2002.

It had been a strange evening and as the last customers were leaving the restaurant to make their way home. Our conversation changed from day to day things to something far more important. Let me introduce myself, my name is Victoria. I did not really know why the subject of spiritualism had come up. I had known Elizabeth for quite a while and since I had bought a small seaside cottage in the village, I had eaten regularly at Elizabeth and Tony’s. It was true to say that this was certainly a restaurant, which was a little bit different. Rumour had it in the village that Elizabeth was not like the farming village folk. Some said she was a witch. In a funny sort of way she reminded me of one, her plump figure, which shook with mirth when she laughed and her small bright eyes which lit up like fairy lights when she talked about subjects she was interested in. And that is exactly what happened on that cold autumn evening. I can almost see us sitting there now, pouring over the oracle cards. I remember I chose a card ‘letting go’ and the picture it depicted showed a road with a dead end. I did not understand what it meant at the time although it’s all too obvious now.

A gust of wind swept across the floor as a young man entered. He was tall with dark hair and quite attractive and as he came over to our table. He seemed very familiar with the surroundings. Elizabeth introduced him to me. “This is my son Peter”, she said and as he shook my hand firmly and smiled, the only thing that clearly remains in my mind is the huge aura of red, which surrounded him and the irritation he eluded from it.

It was several months later when we met again. Peter was spending a few days at home recovering from a broken relationship. The news came as no surprise to me. On the one occasion I had met his ex partner, I could clearly see that they were totally unsuited. We were chatting at the bar when the conversation changed and he said “I feel as though I can talk to you, I never really reveal my feelings to anyone, but it feels OK with you”. I felt so sorry for him, the pain was so obvious and more so the disappointment of the wasted years. I had the feeling, I remember well at the time, it seemed so natural to be talking together as if I had known him all my life and now I understand what those feelings were. Over the next few years our paths crossed regularly but nothing more than that, I was far too busy with my own spiritual journey.

Last summer, just after I had returned from England, (this has been a very important quest and certain things had happened there which had truly shown me at long last where I was going) I became very aware that I should contact Peter. Why I was not sure at the time, but in some or other way I knew. He would probably think it was strange, but I called him despite of that. We agreed hat he would come over to my house and I would give him a healing. I gave very little thought to the fact that it was his own mother who was the master who had taught me. He agreed “as and when I have time” he said.

To my surprise he rang a few weeks later and we arranged to meet, the date was 1st December 2004. The significance of the date is a number of things and you will probably only understand this if that is your own particular area of interest

As I opened the door, the same gust of wind blew in through the door and I remembered our first meeting which seemed so long ago. But there he was again, standing tall and smiling down at me. I mention this fact, as I am tall myself and it struck me as a comforting thought that I was looking up at him and he down at me. I felt really nervous, I did not know why. I say that but I suppose here finally was a chance to find the key, which I had been looking for, for such a long time. As I started the treatment it felt as though I was about to open Pandora’s Box.

As I placed my hands across his cheeks, they were trembling and I felt embarrassed at my own incompetence and I apologised for my inferiority, something I have been doing all my life. “I am only the pupil”, I said “your mother is the master”. Peter shrugged and looked at me: “you are all wrong there”, he said. I could feel the stubble of his beard on my fingertips. My mind floated away and my hands melted on his soft skin. I was only conscious of the music which played on and on, my hands were guiding me and the journey had begun. It felt like coming home, the familiarity so supreme and finally the recognition of the pure knowledge of Who We both Were.

We were standing in a garden and I was a small girl again, my curly hair blowing gently in the breeze, my small hand clasped in his. He was my father and it felt good. I felt secure and as another feeling came and passed, we were both climbing up a steep path through the gaps between the earth and stones. Suddenly I was on my own again and lost, a voice calling me to follow, but the path was so steep and the wind was getting stronger and swirling around me. As I breathlessly reached what I thought was the top, an elephant stood in front of me. It was hot and dusty and my throat felt too dry to make any sound. “You will have to go on”, the elephant said: “he is waiting for you”. Why should an elephant be talking to me?

On and on, up and up I went, the path seemed never ending and as I turned the next bend I could hear the sound of fire. A huge dragon sat there, his greenish yellow eyes with their split pupils staring at me. “Don’t be afraid”, he said, “you know me really”. I had no fear despite his size and the huge red, yellow and orange flames bursting forth from his mouth. He looked quite frightening, his huge tail swishing back and fro and his course reptile like skin looked old and tired. His feet with their enormous talons looked as though they pained him. I almost wanted to touch them and make them better, but he said: “Go on child, you know the way”. I did as I was told and as I turned back to look at the dragon, he was gone as I felt sorry. He seemed so familiar.

The path led up and up again, as if I was climbing to the sky and I found myself in a beautiful luscious green forest. Birds were singing and everything felt so peaceful. I could hear the crickets and other insects buzzing and chattering and everything was in harmony. I am doing it right, I thought, I could feel it in my heart. Yes, that was right; I had to follow my heart, which is what this journey was about. Doing what you feel is right, despite all the odds, following your own true colours.

I walked on and as I approached another bend, a magician dressed in his blue robes was sitting on a tree stump. He had a long white beard and looked magical and friendly. “Who are you?” I asked. ”Are you a magician?” Of course”, he replied. “You had better hurry or you will be too late”. Yes the sky was darkening, strange, I had not noticed before, and indigo blue clouds were gathering across the skies. I felt as though I wanted to say something to him, but no words came. In the far distance I could see some steps and it looked as though they went straight up into the clouds. I really must have climbed further than I realised.

Finally I reached the bottom of the steps and I paused to catch my breath. I was thirsty and tired and I wanted to rest but this was no option. I climbed up and up and each step seemed steeper and larger than the last one. As I reached the top, a small boy sat crying on the last step. “Where have you been?”, he asked. “I have been waiting for you for such a long time”. His dark straight hair hung over his tearstained face. I picked him up gently in my arms, his limbs curled around my body and he put his tearstained face in my neck. A huge door swung open as I knocked. An angel dressed in purple and blue stood waiting for us. I recognised him at once, Gabriel.

”At last”, he said. “ You have both been gone for such a long time. HE has been waiting for you since the beginning of time”. I crossed the threshold into paradise and put the boy gently down on the white marble floor. He looked into my eyes and was tall again, and I recognised his green eyes – oh yes I knew them so well.

I put my arms around him and knew the journey was over. My twin soul. I had found him at last and I loved him so.

My heart was fluttering like my wings.