The Oak Tree
It is Spring 2001. I'm at the beginning of my awakening and it's not an easy time. One morning I have the idea of not eating my breakfast in the room, but upstairs in my bedroom. While I am eating I suddenly see the big Oak tree that sits on community property, very near our house. It is a tree with a very special radiation. As through inner voice I start to talk to the tree, how magnificent beautiful I find him/her and how much I love nature, but due to busy work, I can't really seem to have enough time to enjoy any of it.
I tell my story, about my problems, the misunderstanding of others, my sadness and especially my loneliness, concerning my feelings, especially to the fact, I have to be somebody, I don't want to be. I can't live up to the expectations that other people have of me. Then a huge sobbing follows. But suddenly I have a warm feeling in my belly and it 'seems' I get an answer. This is too good to be true and I try to completely silence my thoughts, but in a way emotions block it. Yet I receive an answer, that can help me, that is, I can change my live myself, I can choose to be more together with nature and myself: to be in contact again with the one I really am.
From this moment on, I have my breakfast upstairs, to start the day with a conversation with my big friend. Itís like an old friendship is restored again. Itís a loving help, without expectations. I only have to ask, be silent and receive that continues thru spring. The tree starts to bloom, forming new leaves; I grow with him/her. These are such special moments, in which very special feelings develop, which I hardly can express.
To my great terror I learn that on community property, 40 trees are being cut down soon, amongst which is my big friend. I try to persuade the community people to change their minds, with no results. At noon one day when I came home from shopping, I see that my friend is cut down already and it feels like something snaps in me. Did I sense it? Was that the reason I felt so strange, all of the afternoon. Again a huge sobbing. I call my husband Wouter at his work, something I rarely do, for consolation.
When it's dark I go outside in the garden and stand at the fence and look at the aura of the tree. Itís still there, but it looks so prickly, that in a way I can feel the pain.
I contact the conscience of the tree and thank her/him for all the conversations, the love and our togetherness. I make an agreement that I will ask the community to buy some pieces of wood from the tree, to put down in our garden. Then after having shared some thoughts, I ask the deva of the area to guide the soul of this beautiful creature to another area or tree and while crying I say good-bye.
The next morning there is just emptiness.
When the people of the community start to cut the wood in little peaces, I am the first one who stands at the fence, with the question if we could have something of it. The stem is cut in slices, which we lay down around the pond. We put the large lower piece, in its entirety in the garden, that four years later will be full of Trametes versicolor. [Elf benches we call them]. We spread the woodchips of the oak around the garden and it feels great. You feel the strength of it. Itís like the tree is still with me and of course she/he is.
Although her/his physical shape may be gone, conscience never dies.
A few years later I read a book by Gerhard Buzzi: ĎThe holy maní, which is a book about a wise old Native, including a piece about the strengths of the trees.
To my big surprise it is told in the book that the Oak returns spirits of life back to somebody who had become weak after a long period of illness. The tree also returns the energy of life.
How wonderful is it to read this. Is it coincidental I saw this book? Still coincidence doesn't exist, does it? I had listened to my inner voice, to sit down to eat next to the tree and talk to her/him. Do I need to share this experience with others?
Hopefully, many will find the 'courageí, to ask nature and especially the trees for help.
Thanks to the Creature of the Oak tree and the deva of the area.
Love, Light and peace