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Photo: Wouter van der Kruit
by: Maja Kluvers.
translation: Mirjam Coumans.
Dear Suzie, I write this story about you and me because it is very special and I think it contains a message for other people.
When Suzie comes into my life it is 'love at first sight' and she is three years old. She wears blue fur that is very resistant against cold weather, so she'd probably survive the coldest winter in Alaska. This cat has been through some stuff and isn't always cheerful. She is feeling unsafe in the house at first, because she has been locked up for a long time. As time goes by she calms down. She is the queen amongst the cats. One can see her consciousness has been through a whole growing process already. Indeed she knows what she wants! When she enters the room she walks like a queen: someone is really ENTERING the room. Her eyes seem to say: "I will show you something here".
At night, when I'm sitting on the couch she always sits down next to me, but never on my lap. For years She is doing ok, but then suddenly she starts shitting in places she shouldn't. At first I think it's an accident, but these 'accidents' happen more often than ever and on several spots in the house. What in Heaven's name is going on? In a book I read the advice to put plastic on the spots she craps. She does it every time in different spots though, and looks at me like: "here you go, this is my doing." I don't know what to do anymore and sometimes get impatient and angry with her.
In a Dutch Healing Center I meet someone who is specialized in readings on animals: a reading on Suzie is the result.
The answer is surprising. Suzie came to me to adopt some of my karma. On top of that she is so sensitive that she takes up many of my negative energies in her aura and therefore never sits on my lap. She separates her garbage into mine and her own shit. Her garbage goes where it should, but the junk that is mine, she spreads all over my territory.
I would have never made that connection between my growing process and her reactions. Because of the readings and later the healings I start connecting stuff. The energy doesn't flow right in her left hind leg, which also has to do with me. When she walks down the stairs you always hear a 'hip-dunck' sound. This sound will turn out to be very important to me later.
After the readings I look at her with entirely 'different eyes'. She already had a special place in my heart, but with what I had found out, an additional dimension was added. I had never thought this possible!
As I am growing and healing at the same time, Suzies condition is going down hill. Now ten years old, she starts falling ill more often. She gets many infections and needs medicine next to the healings. We go on like this for a while. One morning, when the entire cat room is pooped under again - she then is almost 14 - she falls down the stairs, I get the strong hunch she is getting too weak now and I need to take a very hard decision.
I decide to talk it over with her. When she is washed and we sit in the room, together with her friend Deshney (the other cat) I start a conversation with Suzie. I tell her I appreciate all the help she has given me and still is giving me, but that if she feels that it is time to return to where she came from it is o.k. with me, she is free to 'go'. That is the moment she starts coming toward me and does something she has never done before. She climbs on my lap and looks at me as if she is saying ' finally you get it'. I hug her and the tears come; how to go on without this sweet darling? This is going to be tough.
At the moment Suzie is going to sleep forever, I hold her in my arms and whisper in her ear how much I love her. A final gaze is exchanged and I am in tears. Goodbye my love! We bury her in the yard together with her toy, a blue mouse.
When I am in my bed that night I cry again. I tell her that I am sorry I sometimes got angry with her, while she was just doing what she needed to do. When after a long while I finally am asleep, it happens: SHE comes to me to say goodbye. Her image is very clear. Actually it is even clearer than a photograph of her would be.
It is a loving hug. "Thank you dear Maja, that I was allowed to be with you!"
Her aura is noticeable in the house for
a whole day, after which emptiness is all that is left. It was only
then that Deshney found out something was missing.
Exactly a year after she passed away I wake up at night because something warm is stroking my face. Someone is communicating with me, but not like we humans do by speaking. The words come into my consciousness in a different way. It feels like a soft whispering. It is about love and warmth. At first I don't know what it is, but suddenly I hear Suzy's familiar sound when she used to walk down the stairs: 'hip-dunck', 'hip-dunck', 'hip-dunck'. I sit up straight in my bed.
How is this possible?
What a beautiful and lowing way to tell me she is still there.
My love, thank you for helping me writing this wonderful piece to help tell people that animals do not come into your life, just like that. All pieces of the puzzle fit into each other. We only need to see it.
Dear Suzie, my girlie, I love you.